The hardest step I’ve taken

Over 14 years ago I told Dr. Hubs to never start a private practice because I wouldn’t work for him. Well 6 years ago I ate my own words and encouraged him to go out on his own, start a private practice. In fact I sold my own company so I could dedicate time to our new baby and his new practice. I figured I’d just be there in the wings to help when needed. Pay the bills and just provide the moral support. I had no idea I’d be so involved.

In the past 5 years since we opened Providence Plastic Surgery I’ve done a lot. From running coffee errands to paying bills to managing the marketing. Plus a few other tasks like budgeting, payroll, hiring and firing, answering phones when staff are out sick, taking photos and video in the OR and even helping patients with financing. I’ve loved parts and hated other elements. I’ve had to help make hard decisions and I’ve managed the consequences when I’ve made a bad decision by myself. I don’t want to go into too many details but if you are a small business owner you know…you know exactly what I mean. If you happen to be in business with a spouse then you know even better. Managing things together has been hard. I never seem to catch a break, or my breath for that matter.

I have to go from Mom mode to girl boss mode to wife mode in a matter of seconds. It’s been too much actually and I’ve been begging Dr. Hubs for a break from the many hats I where. For the record he too has to wear many hats, I never want that to go unsaid. But a man is different. I think man can compartmentalize. I think it’s harder for a woman because we are born multi-taskers. It’s far easier to over promise and under deliver as a working mom. I now feel like I spend half my day apologizing for being behind on things or just plain forgetting.

Part of our move to a larger office has meant planning and hiring more staff. A better support system. We already have a great and dedicated staff but we needed more hands to handle the load we’re already carrying let alone what we expect to grow to in our new location. So I’m taking the hardest step ever. Trusting someone else with parts of our business I’ve handled personally for years. I’m taking a step back.

I’m finding this step to be filled with anxiety and worry. Not because I don’t think the people I’m bringing on can’t do my job(s). Actually they’ll exceed what I was able to accomplish because I was always spread so thin. I’m actually nervous about what I’ll be left with.

I’ll be Mom. And Wife. And occasionally boss lady. I’ll be much more behind the scenes. In fact I’m wondering if our staff will forget I exist after awhile. But do I want that?

I think the answer is yes. Actually I don’t see myself going away but becoming a more balanced version of my multi-tasking self. Taking a step back is the only way to create more time to expand.

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